This one is ... what the fuck? The guy's profile picture was a photograph of a goose that had been disemboweled. Ugh.I shut the computer down and went to bed.I woke up in the morning ... alone, of course. My boyfriend of two years had received a job offer to move to Ireland, of all places, and did not take me with him. Four months had passed, and given that I wasn't a very social person I had been single that entire time and I was getting pretty damn horny!I checked my email. There was a message from a guy who wanted to tie me up and stick a feather up my ass. I considered it for a moment before deleting it. Ugh.Over the next few weeks I would go out with the occasional guy who wasn't a creep over the PoC messaging, but we never seemed to hit it off. The messages I received ranged from the crass ("Hey baby, wanna suck my dick?") to actual poetry, but by the time I messaged that last one back he had already closed his account. The good ones went fast.Another week went by and I was. ..The third house I came to contained an overweight woman in her midthirties. She was watching tv. What else? I pounded on the door a full fiveminutes before she answered it."Yeah?" she asked, her eyes glazed over."I need to borrow something." What?" I need," I began, but couldn't get the words out. I felt my face gettingflushed. This was a lot harder than I thought it would be. After a fewfalse starts, "I need some tampons," finally came tumbling out.She looked confused, as if she didn't understand why I would be asking herfor this boon. "Why don't you-" I'm new here," I snapped, trying to be as restrained and polite aspossible. "Do you have some?" Yeah," she responded. "But I don't understand-"I pushed past her and went directly to the little kitcheonette at the backof the one-room domicile."Hey, you can't just-" Is this the one where she talks about her period?" I gestured to thetelevision as I began systematically searching through her cabinets.She snorted out a laugh. "Yeah, this.
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